Being alone has its delightful pleasures. You are your own master, for one. You can choose the topic of your contemplation. You don’t have to go by the tastes of the majority who determine the topic of the conversation in a company. You don’t have to spend time in discussing the weather when you’d rather read a book that delights your soul.
One of the biggest problems I’ve faced in a company is articulating what I want to say without sounding offensive, hurtful, or – worst of all – boastful. In fact, this is the chief reason why I choose to be alone. If you are not a born conversationalist, you should try to cultivate the art of conversation if you want to enjoy company. I am not a born conversationalist as I have learnt after many clumsy attempts to appear to be one. My attempts to cultivate that precious art ended up as much clumsier.
What has fascinated me the most is that people in almost any company are dead eager to ascribe motives to your words, motives you never imagined in the most farfetched of your dreams. For instance, if you mention the obscenity of certain affluent neighbour or relation possessing a fleet of cars, the cardinal sin of jealousy is immediately detected in your soul. And you may be fated to carry that taint in your soul for as long as the sun continues to rise and set. Any of the seven cardinal sins may be just waiting to pounce on you at any time depending on the orientations of the people in the company.
If you are not smart enough, you may end up revealing more than is desirable or healthy for your public image. Does your public image need so many masks? Of course not. It’s not a question of masks at all, as far as I understand. It’s rather a question of your privacy. The sermonisers who wait with religious fervour to discover the cardinal sins in your soul are most eager to probe into your private life. It gives them a peculiar joy to discover some skeleton in their neighbour’s cupboard. If you are not extremely careful with your words, your friends may create a skeleton with your very words.
So I choose to be alone. With the virtual company in the blogosphere. That’s a good resolution for the New Year, I guess. Bu like all resolutions, this too may be broken according to my convenience.